


Drowning

by Cailderon (Whorever)



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Angst, F/F, alternating pov, commissions, dealing with paralysis, minor background characters - Freeform, not real heavy angst, quadriplegic!Kate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-11-30 04:49:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11456337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whorever/pseuds/Cailderon
Summary: The team decides to take a vacation and while out enjoying life on the beach, Kate Bishop attempts to show off to her girlfriend with what should have been some awesome diving skills. She ends up hitting her head on a sandbar hidden under the water which leads to her becoming a quadriplegic. Kate finds herself thinking about the lack of possibilities her future holds and America does everything she can to show her girlfriend that this injury wouldn't be the end of her.





	1. Kate's POV

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was commissioned by wombatking! Their idea was so great and challenging to write, it was such an enjoyable commission to do. Hope you like it as well!

Hero’s don’t get vacation. It’s a full-time job that requires being in top performance. There wasn’t time to waste on relaxing or even risking letting your guard down. Free time wasn’t really free time, since it mostly all went into training to further hone your skills.

  
Even still… Nothing could really hurt sacrificing a bit of free time to enjoying a perfect day at the beach. It’s not like Super Hero’s don’t deserve a nice day off from time to time, it was just obtaining that was rare.

  
This is what we all agreed on though. A nice day at the beach with hopefully no interruptions from the rest of the universe. It’d been just a thought, something not meant to be taken seriously. But with the extended days of peace we’ve been having, it seemed more appealing as the time passed. And, who was I to pass up a day to spend with America anyway? A day on the beach, no less.

  
Getting ready, I tied my hair back in a loose ponytail and used a pair of sunglasses to hold back my bangs. We agreed to meet at the Montauk beach with the rest of the team, and America had been ready long before me.

  
“Princess if you don’t hurry up--”

  
“--I’m coming, I’m coming!” I called after, not surprised in the slightest to see the smirk on her lips. Her tone was threatening, but everything about her was teasing. Her hair was pulled back in a much more stylized hold than mine, sunglasses resting on top of her head as well.

  
She brought a hand up and flipped the sunglasses down on her face, smiling at me. “Well if you’re all set, let’s go. I don’t want to hear from David how we threw everything off by being late.”

  
I chuckled, holding my arm out and letting her grab hold of it. We stepped outside and I took the lead on heading us in the right direction. The city around us was busy, but there was something so satisfying about that. It was nice to see so many people on the streets, and cars running, buildings working-- there wasn’t anything right now to stop that and I had to soak in that moment for just a minute. “I can’t believe I would actually enjoy taking a walk anywhere.”

  
America hummed in response, possibly experiencing the same feelings of content that I had a moment ago. The shades on her face reflected the sunlight brightly, and her skin had a certain glow to it that summoned an urge to kiss it from me.

  
I didn’t act on it, not because I thought it would be inappropriate, but because another thought had crossed my mind. “Do you think I should’ve brought my bow?” I questioned. It wasn’t like it was too late to turn back and grab it. “I mean, do you think things have been too peaceful?”

  
“If anyone shows up, I’ll punch them long enough for you to come back prepared, okay?” To emphasize her point, America made a fist and smirked at me. “Can’t say I’m not expecting things to go wrong though.”

  
“So you’re getting that feeling too?” I questioned. “It’s probably best to just…not our guards down.”

  
“Kate, we’re here to relax so that’s just what we’ll do.” America commented, running a hand up and down my arm for added comfort.

  
“Right,” I smiled, deciding not to let my worries get to me. “We’ll do what we always do and adjust to the situation if anything happens.”

  
“Exactly.” America agreed. I felt more optimistic as with each step that we took. Today was just going to be our day and I shouldn’t feel guilty about that. It’d be the same for Teddy and Billy, and David. Maybe somewhere out there Loki would be having his day as well, but who knew.

  
We arrived before long, meeting up with the rest of the gang and I saw right away that everyone had come to the same conclusion America and I had. If something were to go wrong we would handle it. Otherwise, we had nothing left to do but enjoy ourselves.

  
Teddy was helping Billy with his sunscreen, and to no ones surprise David was plugging away on a laptop. I let out a disappointed sounding sigh as I approached him, trying to emphasize my disapproval for how he chose to spend his time at the beach.

  
“What?” He started, looking up at me with a look that dared to call him out. I would’ve done that anyway.

  
“Don’t you know how to relax?” I huffed.

  
“I am relaxing.” He replied with. “It’s just different from your method of relaxing.”

  
I shrugged my shoulder and then focused my attention else where. I wouldn’t bother teasing him any more. America was already unraveling a towel, getting ready to sprawl out I guessed. I moved towards her. “What, you’re not gonna do any awesome swimming tricks?”

  
“Nope, today’s all about relaxing for me.” America replied with. She sent a smirk my way. “Why don’t you show me what you got princess?”

  
I smiled down at her, a swell of confidence surging through me at the idea of showing off to her. “Is that a challenge? You know how much I love those.” I commented, bending down and placing a soft peck on her forehead. “Don’t take your eyes off me then, wouldn’t want you to miss anything.” I said in a hushed tone.

  
America smiled at me, staring into my eyes. “I wouldn’t dare.”

  
With that, I stood upright and examined my surrounding. What could I do that would be impressive in this water? The waves were too calm to do any kind of surfing--not that I had a surf board anyway. Playing a game on the beach hardly counted as a swimming trick either. I hummed to myself before my eyes spotted a decent sized cliff that the ocean wore as an accessory. “It’s perfect.” I mumbled to myself as I made a dash in that direction. I climbed up the side of it with ease, looking around at everything from the new perspective. America was lying out on her towel, leaning back on her hands as she stared up at me. I noticed Teddy pointing me out to Billy and David only spared me a glance before turning back to his laptop.

  
I looked over the ledge, kicking a loose rock into the water to make sure it was deep enough for a dive. Satisfied, I pulled my hair free from the confines of the hair tie, and took my sunglasses off and tossed them to the side. I ran towards the edge, not even thinking about how I was going to dive, instead just reacting.

  
The fall was much shorter than what I was used to, my body making contact with the rather cold water before I had really done anything special. I had just managed to do a simple, graceful dive. When I resurfaced, I shook my wet hair free from sticking to my face and then swam towards the shore.

  
“C’mon, you can do better than that.” America teased.

  
Teddy was putting the lid back on the sunscreen when he looked up to me. “I know she could.”

  
“I was just testing the waters.” I commented. “I’ll show you something special, just you wait.”

  
“Waiting,” America teased, a chuckle trailing the end of her words.

  
I rolled my eyes but headed back towards the cliff for attempt number 2 on an impressive dive. Once again, I scaled up the side of it and brought myself back to the top. I took in a breath and shook my arms out, thinking about what I wanted to do. I could always take the fun route and go for a typical cannon ball. Maybe I could do a Pocahontas dive? Would America get that reference?

  
I could always flip off of the edge, who’s to say that’s not impressive? I looked down at America staring up at me and decided that yes-- that was what I was going to do. Getting a running start, I brought one leg up before I jumped and swung it down to get my body to spin. I did a full rotation by the time my body hit the water, and I admit that I felt a little cool having done it when I resurfaced.

  
“Oh nice,” Billy commented.

  
I pushed my wet hair out of my face and before America even spoke up, I knew I had to go again. “I’m not finished yet!” I stated, going for the cliff a third time now. This time, as I got to the top of the cliff, I ran as fast as I could with the little land I had and tried to throw myself as far away from the cliff as possible. I didn’t have time to really do anything special on my way down, so I just stuck with the way my body was moving and shouted out “Cannon ball!”

  
As I resurfaced, I could hear America’s laugh from the shore line. I couldn’t help but to smile at the sound of it. There was something there that made what ever moment I spent with the sound of her laugh feel so close to home. I loved every part of it, and I was starting to feel like there wouldn’t be a single regret I could have had about taking a day off.  
Dragging my dripping body out into the shore, I flipped my hair back and smiled down at every one. “How was that? Can’t go wrong with a classic.”

  
“You might’ve gotten a lot of air, but I could definitely make a bigger splash.” Teddy teased. I didn’t even try to argue that, and neither would anyone else here I bet. The guy was big and he could only get bigger.

  
“I liked it.” America commented. “Nothing like using your whole body to punch the ocean.”

  
“Right,” I chuckled. “Now am I gonna be the only one throwing myself off a rock or are any of you guys actually going to start having fun?” I questioned, giving everyone a hard look.

  
To my surprise, David stopped what he was doing and stood from his spot. “I suppose I could give this ‘fun’ thing a whirl.” He commented, and I couldn’t help but pass him a smirk. Soon enough, everyone was starting to get out of their sunbathing lazy-day mood and into a more energetic one. Billy and Teddy were dunking each other through the water, stealing brief kisses from each other when they could.

  
America and I decided to challenge the boys to a nice game of water volleyball, where David quickly volunteered himself as ref. Things got competitive rather quickly with America and I. Billy and Teddy just seemed happy to be out and together and I couldn’t help but wonder if the feelings I were having could fall under the same thing.

  
At some point, the game had gotten side tracked and no real winner was declared. David mentioned America having scored the most points, so I would’ve taken that as a victory for us had I not been busy trying to get away from America trying to pick me up in the water. I totally could’ve gotten away had I actually swam instead of awkwardly trudging through the ocean. Her hands grasped my waist and I let out a loud yelp that was supposed to be the word ‘No.’ It might’ve been more recognizable if I wasn’t giggling through it all.

  
I ended up at America’s mercy, her arms boasting me out of the water and a moment later chucking me further away. I held my breath in time of hitting the surface, swimming back up for air once I had sank down enough. I heard Billy’s voice from above and America and I both turned our heads towards the cliff that I had previously been jumping from. He was waving to get our attention and now that he had it, he cupped his hands around his mouth to shout down at us. “We’re about to blow your dives away, Kate!”

  
“Oh boy this is gonna be good.” America commented.

  
“I’m waiting!” I shouted back at him, and then watched as he hustled back towards the further edge of the cliff. I watched in silence with America, bringing a hand up to shield the sun from my eyes. A moment later and I saw Billy and Teddy running from the edge of the cliff and throwing their bodies off the edge similar to the way I had. Teddy ended up going green and plummeting towards the ocean like a human wrecking ball. His splash felt like it rippled through the entire coast, and Billy only followed suit like a rain drop into his splash. 

  
I turned my head away to avoid getting smacked in the face by the waves the pair had created, America doing the same. The two came up with bubbling laughter, like they didn’t have a care in the world.

  
A low whistle sounded from David. “A nice dive and a cute finish, Kate you might have been out done here.”

  
I took in a deep breath, not allowing the feeling of defeat settle in. A hand landed on my shoulder and I turned to America. She was wearing her confidence a bit stronger than I was used to, my heart swelling knowing that it was for me. “Alright Princess, I think it’s time for you to show ‘em your splash.”

  
I nodded and soon felt her lips against the side of my cheek, yet another thing to boost my confidence. Swimming up to the shore, I started to make my way back towards the same cliff. My body was already moving on muscle memory with each footing and holding that I had climbed before. I made it to the top in no time, and stood towards the edge once again. “If you all will allow me just a warm up dive first.” I called out, to which Billy rolled his eyes so over dramatically. “50 points to anyone that gets this reference!” I spread my arms out and then tilted my chin upwards, closing my eyes. That’s right, I was totally gonna Pocahontas this.

  
I fell forward, letting the air pull me towards the water below. I tried to imagine myself looking as graceful as Pocahontas had, but I could guarantee my wet hair was nowhere near as harmonious in flow as hers was. I don’t know what made this dive so different, but the fall felt so much slower than the earlier ones. I even cracked my eyes open in wonder of when I would hit the surface.

  
My heart lunged in my chest in the second of vision I took in before I hit the surface. That single second spelled everything out for me with the hidden sandbar that looked to be greeting me with open arms. My eyes widened, and I barely had time to let out a curse--let alone gasp.

  
I hit the surface.

  
My forehead slammed against the sandbar.

  
I felt my head whip back, the loudest crack I’ve ever heard following it.

  
I thought I blacked out.

  
I thought I was unconscious while I found my eyes staring forward into the distorted blackness below me.

  
I had to be unconscious other wise I would be making my way back towards the surface.

  
It was too quiet for me to be conscious, but there was light breaking through the water, and I could see my hands drifting limply in that break of sunlight.

  
I blinked and panic was starting to swell in my stomach as I realized I was very much conscious. I couldn’t feel my hands. I couldn’t feel my legs, I couldn’t feel anything down to my toes. Something was very wrong.

  
I tried to scream, but it was caught between the bubbles that left my mouth in doing so. My heart was racing, each second that passed feeling like an eternity. The water around me soon started to move, a pair of legs coming in to view. My head was pulled upright--maybe it was my whole body, I couldn’t tell. The sun blinded me as I found air coming into my lungs again with a huge gasp. I started heaving, the bright white of the sun keeping me from recognizing anything in my sight. I think someone was yelling my name, but I couldn’t hear over the ringing in my ears.

  
Someone leaned over me, their head blocking out the ball of light in the sky. They were only a silhouette, but I knew who it was from the strands of curly hair that shined a bright brown around her. I blinked and it was like every noise I couldn’t hear before suddenly pummeled my ears all at once.

  
“Kate?!”

  
“--her forehead’s bleeding--”

  
“--Get her onto the beach, we have to call an ambulance--”

  
“--Kate!?”

  
“She’s breathing, right?-”

  
I wanted to push everyone away from me. I wanted to shake it off and tell them how much they were over-reacting, tease them for being so worried, but I couldn’t move. I wanted to sit upright and grab on to America’s shoulders-- tell her I was done with my dives and just needed to sunbathe with her for a bit, but I couldn’t move.

  
I tried to pull my head up but my neck just didn’t have the strength. The pain from the impact was starting to seep in, the muscles in my neck tightening regardless of the movement I made. I finally parted my lips to speak as my body was moved through the water by America.

  
“I-I can’t move.”

  
“Kate?” America’s voice sounded way too worried. I didn’t like hearing it in that tone, it didn’t feel right. Her finger tips raked through my hair, supporting my head with the gentlest of touches. I winced when she pushed it up a bit more than I could take, and she immediately dropped her hand a bit. “Kate, you’re gonna be alright, just hang in there. David’s getting help for you right now.”

  
“I can’t move.”

  
“It’s okay, Princess.” She replied, the sound of the water releasing her hold in the ocean accompanying her voice. We had made it onto the beach and my head was starting to feel like it was attached to dead weight. “We’re getting help. I’ll take care of you.”

  
“America, I can’t feel my body.”

  
I heard Billy gasp and Teddy hush him. I could only assume he was holding him now, comforting his love. I supposed America was doing the same thing, holding me on the beach, her hand keeping my head as upright as it could go.

  
Fear was starting to settle in with the panic that was making my chest rise and fall. I tried to keep my mind straight, focus on what I could move. I could blink, that was a start. And I could breathe so my chest was moving. My jaw worked, so did my mouth. I could move my neck if it didn’t hurt so badly but everything else had just refused to do what I was asking it to. I just wanted to move a finger, a toe even. Hell, I’d be satisfied with rolling my shoulder, but nothing happened no matter how much I tried.

  
David’s voice joined the silence of the group. “There’s been a helicopter dispatched, they’ll be here shortly.” He started. Suddenly, his face was in my line of sight, my eyes locking onto his before they moved up to focus on my forehead. “You’re not bleeding too badly.”

  
“I can’t move.” I repeated, my voice shaking. It was starting to feel like no one could understand what I was saying. I wasn’t suddenly speaking in a different language, was I?  
David’s lips parted like he was going to say something, but he seemed to change his mind at the last second. “…They’ll tell us what’s wrong once we get you to a hospital, okay?”

  
I blinked, looking away from him. He couldn’t really escape my vision, unfortunately so I focused on anything else that I could see.

  
“Did they say where they’ll be landing?” Teddy asked. “We should move her there.”

  
Everyone must’ve agreed, because I found America hoisting me upwards again. Her hand stayed under my head, my body dangling around her limbs like a bad Halloween decoration.

  
“Careful!” David called out, but he was quickly shut down by America’s sharp voice.

  
“I got her.” It sounded almost like a threat.

  
She had me, that was something that offered me a bit of comfort.

  
The moments from the beach to the hospital were all blurred together. In one breath, I found myself getting strapped securely into a cot and the next I was transferred onto a power stretcher and being wheeled through the hospital. All the noises and voices weren’t enough to drown out the repeating thought running through my head.

  
I can’t move. I can’t move. I can’t move.

  
Every time I blinked, all I could focus on was how nothing I told my body to do was listening. Every person that moved around me was just a blend of colors, my mind running. I tried to calm myself down, telling myself this was just a temporary issue and once the doctor’s got a good look at me, I would know just how long I’d have to deal with this complete numbness through out my body. It slowed my heart down just a bit, but I still had that back burner thought of the worst possible outcome. What if I wasn’t going to come out of this numbing feeling?

  
One of the blurs of color suddenly came into existence, their voice rattling through my head and not making sense. A second later and I saw them piercing the flesh on my shoulder with a needle. If I hadn’t looked, I wouldn’t have been able to tell they had done anything at all. They said something else to me and then blended back in with the background. I stared after the dark blue scrubs, blinking and finding my gaze on the cords dangling from the tv propped in the corner of my room. I didn’t remember being put in a room, or speaking with anyone. Did everyone follow me here? I assumed I must not have been allowed visitors yet or America would’ve been right by my side.

  
Blinking, I realized I hadn’t even checked. I brought my eyes to the sides of my bed, finding myself to be completely alone in this room. What ever the nurse had given me seemed to be blocking any kind of emotion from emerging from such a lonely thought. It also seemed to be trying to block my thoughts in general, my eyes beginning to feel extremely heavy. I was probably going to fall asleep well before I would comprehend doing so.


	2. America POV

My brain couldn’t stop replaying the image of Kate’s body falling from that cliff. She had started off looking so confident, the sun spot lighting her. It was horrifying, watching her hit the surface and bop to the surface like some piece of plastic. I thought she was dead when she stopped moving. I thought she cracked her skull open and the water was about to be colored red with her blood.

  
I’d barely call her being alive a breath of relief--even though that was quite a breath of relief--the fear in her eyes keeping the any relief out of of my system.

  
I let out a heavy sigh, leaning back in the uncomfortable waiting chair they had in the lobby of the hospital. David was smart about getting a helicopter to fly her out, there would’ve been no way we’d have made it in time through an ambulance with New York’s traffic. I was glad one of us were thinking with a level head.

  
I had my hands bawled up in my lap, impatience wearing down on me. I wanted to be by her side more than ever at this moment, but there really wasn’t anything I could do to help her right now. I had to leave that to the people that knew best and it was killing me.

  
“She’s…gonna be okay, right?” Teddy asked to the three of us sitting with him. Everyone’s gaze was turned down, Billy’s face showing nothing but negative possibilities. David seemed to be trying to think of the most accurate answer. I had nothing to offer the blond for a response.

  
“I didn’t see how she landed,” David started. “But from what we’re seeing, she might have caused a temporary paralysis to her body.” My heart tightened hearing that and knowing what was to come next out of his mouth. “At the worst, it could be permanent.”

  
“That… Not to Kate.” Teddy seemed to be struggling with his thoughts. “What’s that going to mean for us? For her?”

  
“It ain’t going to mean shit.” I started. “Kate is Kate regardless of what happens to her. We’re still us, and if we’re not there to support her, that’s where we’re going to have problems.”

  
“We’re all going to be there for her but…” Billy started. “If…this is a permanent thing, will she even want to come back to us? As an Avenger?”

  
“I think we’re jumping too fast to conclusions.” David hopped in, effectively stopping any worse thoughts from making it into the air. “We’ll see what the doctor’s say first and then get with Kate and figure out what to do.” Billy and Teddy dropped their gazes, my fist tightening in my lap. I wanted more than ever to punch something and I had to worry for any person that might say the wrong thing to me. David relaxed back in his chair, lowering his voice. “Besides, it could just be temporary, like I said.” But I knew better that his brain was leaning towards the other option. He must have been just trying to keep things calm.

  
I threw my body into the back of the chair with a huff. Waiting on these doctor’s was going to be the biggest test of my patience yet.

* * *

  
   
It was already morning by the time we received any word from the staff. Teddy and Billy were passed out in their chairs, and David was gone on a coffee run. I had moved from my chair and begun pacing in the waiting room, scaring one of the nurses before slightly with how I had aggressively asked for an update. They had been waiting for Kate to wake up so that they could run some tests on her and get a full body x-ray on her. Apparently she had just woken up about half an hour ago and her body was still unresponsive.

  
I was guessing from that, we wouldn’t get a full answer until later in the day. I stepped away from the lobby area and made my way down the hall towards the exits. On my way towards the doors, David had been making his way back with a coffee for himself steaming in his hand. “Where are you going?” He questioned.

  
I moved passed him. “For a walk. I can’t take it in here much longer.”

  
He turned to watch me leave, but didn’t try to protest, something I appreciated.

  
Stepping outside into the fresh air felt like I had just pulled off a plastic bag from my head. I didn’t plan on going far, but I had to kill some time some other way than pacing in the waiting room. Once again, I found myself thinking about Kate’s body surfacing from the water. Her hair crawled along the surface, mimicking the lifeless limbs of hers. My heart squeezed tightly thinking about what I would’ve done had that been the end of her.

  
I shook my head, not allowing those thoughts right now. Kate was alive at the very least. That was the positive I had to focus on. Kate had become so used to things going wrong, she could mold herself to becoming what ever she needed to be in any situation, and I was confident she would be the same with this. I thought about how Kate had second thoughts about bringing her bow with us today. In the long run she didn’t need it at all, but I hoped that wasn’t going to be the last time she would be known as an Archer.

  
I stopped in place, knowing that I wasn’t any better than how I was in the waiting room. At least at the hospital, I would be near Kate. Walking around out here let me cool my head but now it was just filling with thoughts that wouldn’t help me until we heard from the doctors what her state was.

  
I turned around, heading back for the hospital where I could wait and hopefully be the first to see Kate. I’m sure once they got finished with the X-rays, they would an idea of what was going on.

  
Stepping back through the doors, I headed towards where the others were. Teddy was gone and Billy was awake, one leg pulled up on the chair with him. David was sipping on his coffee, plugging away at something on his laptop. I turned to Billy. “Anything yet?” He responded with a shake of his head and I decided to take my seat. The tv in the corner was on, captioning flying across the bottom to keep up with the pace of the words coming out of the mouths of the people on screen.

  
I propped my arm up and rested my cheek against my hand. Billy’s eyes were on the screen, scanning across the captions to probably occupy his thoughts. “Where’s Teddy?” I questioned.

  
Billy’s eyes pulled away from the tv and glanced at me. “He went to get some food for us.” He commented, immersing himself in the show once again. I didn’t comment, deciding to try and do the same. It was impossible trying to focus on whatever was happening on the screen when there was so much worry trying to fill my head. The ticking of the clock felt like it was echoing in my head. I started to subconsciously count each tick and tock that I heard, eyes staring at the screen in the corner. Why did they make waiting rooms so god awfully boring?

  
There was a strong waft of food that came from around the corner, Teddy coming into sight a moment later with a tray of food. He set it down on the coffee table in the center of the room, picking off a plate and taking it with him back to his seat next to Billy. “I didn’t know what everyone would want so I just grabbed things at random.”

  
David was finally pulled way from his laptop, but after settling back down with food he was glued right back to it. Billy ate off of Teddy’s plate, not looking like he had much of an appetite. I reached forward and grabbed the bowl of fruit chunks, using my fingers to pop pieces into my mouth.

  
“What’re you working on?” Teddy questioned, directing his voice at David.

  
“mmf-” David reached for his coffee, using it to wash down his food to answer. “Doing some work.”

  
“At a time like this?” Billy jumped in, his voice sharp.

  
“Yes.” His reply was short and to the point, but it was said in that tone that meant he knew what he was doing. “Especially at a time like this.”

  
Billy looked to want to argue with him, but a hand on his thigh from Teddy stopped him. I turned my attention back to the background noises of the hospital, catching on to a pair of footsteps coming from down the hall. My eyes went to the side that it was coming from, waiting for the person to emerge from the corner.

  
Billy looked up, facing the hallway I couldn’t see and staring attentively at who ever was coming. He started to look antsy so I had to imagine it was a nurse or doctor.

  
My guess was right, a woman in light green scrubs coming into the room. “Miss Chavez?” She questioned, eyes going straight to me having been the most logical guess for a ‘Miss’. “Miss Bishop’s requested for you to come see her. We’ve just about finished up with her, we’ll have her X-ray results shortly.”

  
I stood from my spot and followed the nurse towards the room that Kate was resting in. With each step we took towards her room, the more antsy I became to see her. The nurse had a fast walk, but it still didn’t feel quick enough for me. She finally turned to the left and stepped off to the side to allow me in Kate’s room.

  
I stepped in and immediately rushed for her bedside. “Kate…” I called out, her head currently supported upright by a neck cast. Her hair was all over the place, and her face looked like she lost her soul. It broke my heart just to see her like this, but the smallest of smiles broke out on her lips when she looked at me.

  
“Hey…,” Her bottom lip started to quiver after her greeting. I stepped closer to her, reaching for her hand.

  
“How’re you feeling?”

  
“Depressed.” She sighed. “Scared. Worried.”

  
I reached out to pat her hair down, trying to show my support for her as best I could. “I’m here for you, love.”

  
“I know.” She commented. “I still can’t move anything…” Her eyes turned glossy, and all I wanted to do was to hold her close to me. Anything to keep those eyes from crying. Her gazed moved to focus on the ceiling, and I could tell that her thoughts were going somewhere negative. She was probably imagining the worst possible outcome, and running a million scenarios on the next step from that.

  
“It’ll be okay.” I tried, honestly not sure how to vocally be there for her.

  
“Will it, though?” She questioned, eyes still focused on the dotted ceiling tiles.

  
I didn’t answer her question. I would do everything it took to make sure things would be okay but that’s not what Kate needed to hear right now.

  
The sound of the door opening interrupted the silence we had fallen into and my eyes landed on the doctor that had stepped in the room. Kate’s bed had been propped forward enough for her to face the woman, but she didn’t.

  
“You’ve got some news I hope?” I asked while Kate stared at the tiles silently.

  
“Yes….” I didn’t like the body language the woman was giving off. She let out a deep sigh. “I definitely have news.” She flipped through the manila folder in her hand, eyes skimming over some information she had in front of her. “We’re still waiting to hear back on the results of the CAT scan, but we have gotten some information out of the blood work we did.” The doctor tapped her pen against the folder. “There was no damage done to your lungs--which is a very good thing. They appear to be working just fine. Your blood pressure’s been mostly fine, but there’s been some recordings of it dropping so we’re going to continue to check up on that to make sure it doesn’t lower. Low blood pressure can cause more damage to your spinal cord and we want to prevent that from happening.”

  
Kate’s lips parted as if she were going to ask something, but she remained quiet. I guessed she had decided against it. I looked down at her pale hand poking out from under the blanket, wishing the doctor could’ve just told us some great news. “Do you know at all what’s wrong with her?” I questioned, wishing I would’ve worded it differently.  
The woman gave a slow nod, like it hurt her to speak. “We….do.” She started. “But considering the circumstances, we would like to make sure we’ve got the information correct before discussing it.” That made it seem like it was life changing news. “For now, if you could just be a bit more patient with us, we’ll try to get an answer for you soon. Are you hungry?”

  
I looked to Kate as she blinked her eyes back towards the ceiling. “No.” She replied with.

  
My eyebrows knit together in worry as I watched her. “You should try to eat something.”

  
Her jaw tightened to my response. She lowered her voice when she replied. “I don’t think I could keep it down.”

  
I sighed, continuing to stare at her. She looked miserable right now and it was breaking my heart.

  
“We can send some food up later. For now, get some rest, okay?”

 

* * *

  
   
I stayed with Kate until she fell asleep and even after that. I didn’t want to leave the room and risk her waking up alone. At some point, they allowed the others to come join us. Teddy and Billy were the first to leave, saying it was hard to look at her in bed like that. David stuck around with me, and I could tell his brain was running a mile a minute with the way his eyes locked onto Kate’s unconscious body.

  
“What’re you thinking?” I questioned him, bringing his attention to me.

  
He straightened his posture and let out a sigh. “I’m thinking we just lost our Hawkeye.” His voice was low as he said it. “I’m hoping we don’t lose our Kate with it.”

  
“That won’t happen.” I grunted, quickly disagreeing with him. “And like hell am I gonna let something like this cost us our leader.”

  
“I don’t think that choice is up to you.” He replied with, and boy did his face look very punchable then. His eyes moved towards Kate’s body, watching how her chest would rise and then gently fall. I almost couldn’t believe she lost her ability to move with how relaxed her body appeared to be. “It’s barely up to her as it is…”

  
I had opened my mouth to say the words “You don’t know that” but it seemed like the universe was currently trying to shut me up. The door was pulled open and in walked the doctor from before. She first took a look at Kate, making sure everything was as good as it could be and then turned to David and I. She started with a smile and it was starting to make my stomach drop. “Miss Chavez, if I can just have a private moment with you outside.” She cut off, pointing towards the door.

  
I nodded and stood from my spot, heading out of the door first. David stayed behind and I thanked him for that. The woman shut the door gently after her and then proceeded to occupy her hands with the folder she held. “Would you like to take a seat?” The doctor nodded towards the waiting room chairs that were lining the hall. Again, my stomach dropped.

  
“No, I’m okay.” I told her. She looked as if she would have rather had me sit, but that didn’t change my mind any.

  
The doctor chewed her lip for a second as she tried to form words. I could see her mind running and I knew what came out of her mouth wasn’t going to be something I wanted to hear. “There’s never an easy way of breaking news like this, so I’ve learned the best way to do it, is to just get straight to the point. Rip it off like a band-aid.” She cleared her throat and then locked eyes with me. “Kate’s severely damaged her spinal cord. She broke her C-4 vertebrae and the damage from that in turned just about crushed her spinal cord. It is extremely unlikely that she’ll be able to move anything from the neck down.”

  
I thought I would have words for this but I found myself gaping like a fish. I’d been thinking--in the back of my head-- that it could possibly come to something like this and I still found myself shocked to hear. My jaw tightened as my brain struggled to process what Kate was going through. The doctor continued on.

  
“I know I can’t really offer any good news in comparison to what’s happened, but there are ways to move forward from an accident like this.”

  
“What’s the next step then?” I questioned, immediately concerning myself with what ever I could do to help her. “What can I do for her?”

  
The doctor paused, taking in a breath. “The next step would be determining what Miss Bishop would like to do. Her spinal cord wasn’t completely severed so there is the smallest of chances that with the right physical therapy, we could see some movement from her. If this isn’t something she could do then, next would be looking into in home care for her. Getting her the medical equipment she would need to do what little things she could do.”

  
I nodded, making a strong mental note of each thing the doctor listed off.

  
“It is also extremely important to be aware of Miss Bishop’s mood. A lot of the time with cases like this, the patient can easily fall into depression. It’s good for her to have support and reassurance from the people around her.”

  
“I’ll make sure she’ll be just about drowning in it.” I commented while my brain continued to wander on deciding what my next task for her would be.

  
The doctor nodded at me and then closed the folder. “Good. I’ll go ahead and get some pamphlets ready for the both of you to go over so you can feel more confident with moving forward. When Miss Bishop wakes up, we’ll discuss what’s happened and try to help her focus on moving in a positive direction from this point.”

  
I blinked as I took in what she said. It sounded so positive coming from her, but the news was devastating. How was Kate going to react to something like that? The doctor seemed to be waiting on some kind of response from me, so I mumbled a quick thanks to her and then turned back towards the room. She didn’t follow after me and instead headed down the hall where the waiting room was.

  
David’s eyes were instantly on me when I entered. My shoulders slumped as I turned and stared down at Kate’s resting body. “She broke a vertebrae. Doctor said it’s not likely she’ll be able to move anything again.”

  
His head dropped as he seemed to have been expecting this answer. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “To think the incredible Kate Bishop would be outdone by a vacation.”

  
I shook my head. “She hasn’t been outdone by anything yet.”

  
He remained quiet, humming. He was thinking about something, that much I could tell. “Should we tell the others?”

  
“Let’s wait for Kate to wake up first.” I replied. “She’ll need a heads up before dealing with all the pity people might give her.” I took my seat next to her bedside again, reaching my hand out for her lifeless one. I laced our fingers together, having to cup my other hand over hers to allow her hand to bend in mine. My chest hurt seeing her like this.

 


	3. Kate's POV

For a moment, I thought everything that had happened to me had just been a really bad dream. I thought perhaps I had watched too many of those B-flick horror movies where the acting and terror was so bad in it, it came off as more of a comedy. I thought that even if everything  _did_  actually happen, I would be waking up and shaking off the wounds I received and asking America to take me home.

When my eyes cracked open and I found myself staring at the same speckled ceiling tiles, I knew that everything I thought couldn’t have happened, definitely did. Memories of my last dive reminded me of how I ended up here. I wanted to tear them from my mind and forget that something as stupid as a Pocahontas dive could put me in the hospital.

My brain told my arm to move to my face so I could hide the groan that was coming out but my arm didn’t budge. Nothing in me budged. I still couldn’t move.

“Evening, Miss Bishop.” I blinked, looking off at the foot of the bed. There was the doctor from earlier changing something at the bottom of the sheets, but I didn’t pay any attention to what it was. She finished what she was doing with the removal of her gloves and smiled at me. “We’ve been waiting for you to wake up. There’s some information we’ll have to go over with you.”

“That sounds promising.” I commented sarcastically. The doctor brushed it off easily.

“Kate.” My eyes dashed to the side, a strong pain bolting up my neck from the slight turn I tried to do. America was sitting next to me and with the wince that escaped my lips, she was moving even closer to me. “Are you okay?”

“...Yeah, yeah.” I commented, feeling just the slightest bit relieved knowing she was here with me. Her hand brushed back some of the hair that clumped around my face. “So I’m taking a wild guess that we’ve figured out what’s wrong with me?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes. I went ahead and shared the information with Miss Chavez here while you were resting. Being short and to the point, you’ve….become quadriplegic.” The word dropped from her mouth like she was informing me of the weather outside. Her lips started to move again, but everything that came out of her mouth afterwards was just white noise. My eyes focused on the blanket draped over me, realizing that she had just put a word to the lack of movement I was able to make. She wasn’t fixing it, she was just labeling it.

“I-- I won’t be able to move again?” I blurted out, interrupting whatever explanation she was giving me.

Suddenly now she was quiet. She looked down at her lap and cleared her throat. “With your spinal cord not having been completely severed, there is a very minimal chance that with the right physical therapy, you could move again.”

“Not… completely severed…” I repeated. “Physical therapy…How am I supposed to do physical therapy if I can’t even move?” I questioned.

“Kate-” America started. Her hand was on mine, but it barely provided me comfort.

“-It’s okay,” The woman started. “I’m here to help you along the best I can, if you have any questions don’t hold it back.” She then passed over a couple of pages in the file in her hand before pulling a sheet out and walking it over to me. “Going through physical therapy would just help with healing the nerves that were damaged following the spinal injury. Most physical therapist are there to help monitor what movements you can make and pushing you to regain those nerves that you’ve lost. Even when you don’t feel like you’re making progress, they’ll be able to tell what you’ve accomplished.”

I wanted to shake my head but the muscles in my neck yelled at me not to. Instead I lowered it, not wanting to look at the woman that dropped all this information on me. Her voice was too friendly, it sounded too fake for me to want to trust anything that she was saying.

“If physical therapy does become out of the question, you will have to start looking into acquiring a care taker and maybe getting with your insurance company to see what they can help you with as far as purchasing the appropriate medical equipment goes. I know it’s a lot to take in all at once, so I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information. I just want you to know that you do have options from here on out.”

My mouth quivered the more her information started to sink in to me. There was a high chance that I wasn’t going to be able to move again. I couldn’t even manage to come up with a response if that’s what they were even waiting on.

“Kate…” America called again, her voice as gentle as I needed it to be. “We can start physical therapy, I just need to know that’s what you want to do.”

Her words circled through my head before my brain tried processing them at all. Everything felt like it was being flipped and turned around on me. I opened my mouth to try and speak but I hadn’t even thought of words that I wanted to say. I just remained silent.

“We don’t have to decide this now, okay?” America replied. Even her voice was starting to sound too sweet for me. She was starting to pick up on the same tone the doctor had, and I didn’t like it.

“While you make a decision on what you want to do, we’re going to keep you here just for a couple more days to continue to monitor your blood pressure and watch out for any possible clotting.” She gathered her papers and then tucked them under her arm. “I’ll leave you two to talk it over, if you need anything at all don’t hesitate to call for help.” With that, she stepped outside the office, leaving America and me to silence.

She was staring at me as I was staring at the white blanket across my thighs. I could sort of feel her hand on mine, but I couldn’t clasp it like I wanted to. I couldn’t bring my hand to my mouth to stifle the sobbing that was starting to make it’s way up my throat. I couldn’t do much other than to sit there and cry. And America let me do that. She didn’t take her eyes off me, but she didn’t try to push me into expressing myself at that moment, and that was all I could really ask for. Her hand came to my face, her thumb gently brushing away the tear streaming down my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut, beginning to feel embarrassed with her seeing me like this. America’s hand moved through my hair, combing out what small knots she could without yanking it. She repeated the motion, hushing me as I continued to let each sob and hiccup shake me.

All of this over such a simple dive. “Does everyone else know?”

America shook her head. “Just me and David.”

I kept my eyes closed, trying to focus on my breathing. I started to breathe in and out, my hiccups causing my breath to stutter. Taking in a particularly long breath, I remained still as I zoned in on how my body felt. My eyes were already starting to feel heavy from the crying, and my chest hurt. My heart squeezed whenever I thought about the situation I was in, so I tried to bring my mind elsewhere. Opening my eyes, I felt a wave of resolve come over me. “Okay…” I started, America’s attention falling on me. “Physical therapy… I have to at least try, right?”

America’s lips broke out into the biggest smile. She leaned forward and placed a kiss against the side of my head. “There’s my princess.” She commented. “You still gotta rest up a bit longer, but we’re gonna get you started as soon as we can.” I tried to nod in agreement, reminding myself that this might not be a forever thing. Physical therapy would be time consuming, but I could possibly move again, and that should be enough for me to look forward to.

 

News traveled fast about my injury. Flower baskets were slowly starting to fill up my room and the amount of letters I was receiving was piling up right along with it. America stayed with me for most of the days I spent stuck in that room. She liked to style my hair in different ways, and helped me when it came to eating. We talked of course, but there was something obviously missing in our conversations. I blamed myself for it mostly, my chest currently feeling like a gaping hole had taken it’s place. America was trying her best for me, but the way she was treating me like a piece of thin glass had inadvertently made me feel worse. I think she was struggling with coming to terms with this in her own way. I still found myself refusing to admit the diagnosis I had received. I kept thinking that my doctor would come walking through the door and tell me they had misread my files and I could return back to my ass-kicking arrow slinging self, but it never happened.

I seemed to spend most of my time in that room lost somewhere inside my head. I tried to focus on the positive--possibly being able to gain some movement through physical therapy-- but it wasn’t positive enough to fill the hole in my chest.

Teddy and Billy visited. Sometimes with one another, sometimes by themselves. Teddy seemed to be trying especially hard with cheering me up and somewhere deep down I definitely appreciated it. David had already worked out everything that needed to be done with finding me a rehabilitation center. He had gotten help from someone, or somewhere but he never made mention of who or what it was. America had brought up that he’d been working on it since I first got to the hospital for a worst case scenario. Sucks that it turned out to follow that route.

My eyes were staring off at nothing really, my brain meddling with anxiety over what I didn’t know to expect in my future. Even when the door cracked open, I couldn’t seem to pull my eyes away from the spot I had lost focus on.

“Well, this wasn’t a sight I had hoped to see.”

The deep voice that I hadn’t heard anytime recently was what finally broke the trance I had. I brought my eyes upward and found none other than the original Hawkeye carrying himself through the door. “Damn Kate,” He commented stepping in and taking in the damage I had gone through. “I heard you had gotten hurt, what happened?”

“I…” I parted my lips to start speaking but instead found a wave of what I could only think to describe as misery wash over me. “What’re you doing here?”

“What kind of question is that?” Clint replied with a raised eyebrow. “Kate Bishop ends up in the hospital and I’m not allowed to pop in for a visit?”

“...” I dropped my head down, already beginning to feel my eyes well up with tears. Clint didn’t seem to mind at all, stepping towards my bed side and taking a seat on the edge of it. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my tears but it really was a worthless task since they flowed over anyway.

He hummed as he looked around the room, a finger tapping at his hearing aid. “So what’s the damage?”

I took in a stuttering breath. “Quadri--p-plegic.” I stammered out, an empty laugh following it. “Numb from the neck down.”

Clint shook his head, clicking his tongue. “That’s just the kind of injury I’d expect from you.” I was confused by his comment, unsure what he meant. “Always gotta one up me on everything, don’t you? I blow out my ear drum and you go and break your neck.” An airy laugh passed my lips to that. “If this was a competition, you coulda just settled on going blind, you know.”

“Clint..” I chuckled, a smile stretching across my face for the first time since the beach. He was finally giving me something that I didn’t realize I needed. He wasn’t treating me like I was a fragile item, but instead like I was normal.

“I hope how it happened puts any injury I’ve obtained to shame.”

“I was actually diving off a cliff.” I explained as Clint tried to nod his head like he understood. I say tried because he switched into a confused expression as he nodded. “I may have been trying to show off in front of America.”

“Ahhh,” Clint hummed. “It’s not easy for us power-less heroes to impress the big dogs, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that…” I smiled, thinking about how much America seemed to enjoy my dives.

Clint shrugged, looking round the hospital room like he was passing a judgment on it. We were quiet for a while, and I found myself to really enjoy the silence. “So what’s your next move?” He questioned, breaking the silence.

I tried to give a half-hearted roll of my shoulder, but nothing happened. “I don’t know… physical therapy first, I guess.”

“That’s a good start.” Clint commented. “When do you leave?”

“As soon as I’m discharged from here.” He nodded and I let out a sigh. His face was rested in deep thought, and I wondered on what it could be.

There was a pause that turned the atmosphere away from being painful. “You’ll do good.” He said with confidence. “I know you will. You’re gonna be just fine.”

“I don’t feel like it…” I mumbled.

“Yeah, well I’m telling you, you’re going to do just fine.” He pointed a finger at me. “You’re a Hawkeye for a reason.”

My chest tightened as he said that. I didn’t have the heart to voice that I no longer felt like one. What kind of Hawkeye couldn’t shoot an arrow after all? I figured Clint could tell how I felt without me having to say it. His hand fell onto my shoulder and he gave a small squeeze for comfort. My lip quivered with the threat of another wave of tears, but I held this one back. Clint spoke again. “I’ll be seeing you where ever it is you’ll end up, alright?”

I didn’t make a motion to acknowledge what he said so he continued as he stood up to leave. “Well,” Clint offered a smile to me as he stretched. “Welcome to the disabled Hawkeyes club, Kate.” He earned an honest laugh from me with that and I could tell he was proud of himself from the way that he cocked a smile at me as he left the room. I stared after him, the laughter from his joke dispersing into the atmosphere and finally giving me that stroke of encouragement that I really needed. I had to be positive, there just wasn’t another option for me.


	4. America's POV

Kate was going to Georgia. David had done his research into looking for the best rehabilitation center for her to go to, and now that she’d officially been discharged from this hospital, all that was left was waiting for the nurse to fax over her files to the receiving center.

I didn’t get to see her before she went. I was able to stop by for a quick breakfast with her and to braid her hair back, but after that the hours just seemed to fly by before I’d been notified that she was on her way down there. I wanted to immediately follow after her, but I kept myself from doing so. Even though the situation was hard on all of us, we were still a part of the Avengers and had a job to do. Teddy had been doing rounds to make sure that there wasn’t anywhere we were needed while Billy would send updates that eventually trickled its way down to me. It was definitely unsettling how quiet it had been outside of what happened to Kate.

I had even thought about the possibility that someone had planned this out from the beginning but quickly shook the thought free from my mind. Loosing Kate in our fight wasn’t going to be enough to disband us. It would definitely hurt, but we had all come too far for that.

I was currently at home, going through my list of belongings to take down with me while I stayed out there near Kate. Once we got a plan together, I would leave. I left most of that planning for the boys to do, they should have been able to handle something like that on their own.

Looking around the place, I tried to find small things that I could use to possibly cheer Kate up while we were down there, but nothing shined to me. I grabbed some hair supplies and shoved them with my belongings and after a thorough look around the room, I decided what I had was enough. I sat down on the edge of the bed and found myself just waiting on the decisions the boys had come up with. David wasn’t much of a leader type, neither were Billy or Teddy. Billy let the negative discourage him too much while Teddy didn’t seem to have the confidence in making decisions for the group. David would be the most logical one, but that didn’t exactly make him fit to lead.

Kate had everything they lacked and it already seemed too difficult to make a decision with out her. She knew how to call the shots and keep a level head about things. She knew how important a team discussion was. She knew exactly how to lead and we were already struggling without her. I couldn’t imagine permanently losing her in our group.

I let out a sigh, getting annoyed at myself for how much I was over thinking on this situation. Kate would never be permanently gone from anything, even if she wanted to be.

My eyes moved towards the door as the sound of footsteps came into hearing distance. A moment later and there was a gentle knock on the door. I assumed it had to be the rest of the gang, but nothing stopped me from having a ready fist. I headed for the door and pulled it open, seeing the three boys standing in their casual clothes. Teddy greeted me first with half-hearted hello’s from David and Billy.

“You guys came up with a plan already?”

“More like a compromise.” Billy stated. I cocked an eyebrow at him as he shared looks with the other two.

“We’re thinking it’ll be best to lay low until we hear how Kate’s doing. Leave the danger to the Captain and his crew and lend a hand if we’re needed.” David spoke. I looked between the three of them and saw that they all stood by the statement.

“We know how much Kate means to you, but we also know that without the  _ _both__  of you, we’re not the strongest team.” Teddy commented.

“You guys are sure about that?” I questioned. They had all seemed so much more comfortable in their skins when they were able to put their suits back on. I hoped this wouldn’t revert any of them.

“Of course we are.” Teddy smiled. “We want the chance to see Kate too, you know.”

“Are you guys planning on staying in Georgia too?”

“Not staying,” Billy began explaining. “But visiting when we have the free time to. I know I want to give Kate all the support I can.”

Both David and Teddy nodded in agreement.

I stared at the three them long and hard, looking for any sign that they were lying about what we had discussed. When all three didn’t seem to lose an ounce of confidence, I smiled. “….Thanks, guys.” I mumbled to them. “I know she’ll appreciate this.”

“When do you leave?” David questioned.

“Looks like it’s gonna be now.” I replied. “I was just waiting to hear where everyone stood.” I turned my back to them and moved towards the bed, reaching out for the little bit of luggage I had.

David nodded. “Tell Kate we hope for the best. We’ll be down there as soon as we get the chance to.”

“Will do, Chico.” I bumped my fist against his shoulder, and bid the crew a temporary goodbye.

Making my way out of the building, I stretched out my arms and started off to go and meet Kate in Georgia. I already hated that I couldn’t have meet her down there so I had plenty of lost time to make up.


	5. Kate's POV

“Anything?”

“...No.”

“How about when I do this?”

“Still nothing.” I watched with defeat as the nurse lowered my leg back against the foot rest of the wheelchair I was in. He was poking and prodding at common nerves on my body, trying to get a reaction from me. So far since I’ve been here, I hadn’t shown signs of anything. He gave a smile to me and then moved to jot something down on the clipboard he had. I sat, waiting on him to finish so he could wheel me back into my room.

“Well, we haven’t gotten anything yet but that doesn’t mean we should quit.” He made an attempt at being positive and I gave him a weak smile in return. “Are you hungry at all?”

“Not really.”

“When was the last time you had anything to eat?”

“I ate at breakfast.” He nodded his head like it was something he just remembered seeing me do. The nurse was finally done with his notes, taking his clipboard and tucking it under his arm as he stood up and circled to my backside.

“Alright, we’ll get you back into your room Ms. Bishop.” His tone was like a mother that finally caved in to their child. I couldn’t even find it in myself to even think of a reply for him. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched the tiles pass as he rolled me back to my room.

When he turned me into the door way, I found America sitting in one of the waiting chairs. I knew she would be coming after me, but I didn’t expect her to get here so quickly. Her eyes softened as they locked with mine, a smile crossing her lips. “Hey there princess.”

“You got down here fast.” I commented.

“Really? Felt like it took forever.” She replied with. The nurse greeted her with a wave and then proceeded to move me towards the bed. America stood up, unfolding the blanket from the bed as the nurse lifted me onto it. He had me sitting upright and then on his 1-2-3 count, swung my legs over the bedside. He folded up the wheelchair and set it to the side of the room and then moved to update my chart near the door. I let out a sigh as the only thing he had to change were my meals for the day and the date.

America was watching him as well, and when he finally left, she spoke. “So no changes yet?”

“None.” I answered.

She hummed, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets. “I like the headband.” She commented, bringing the hair piece to my attention.

“Oh, one of the earlier nurse’s put it in.”

“Well it looks great on you.” I wanted to smile and make some kind of witty retort back to her, but I just didn’t feel the energy. Instead, I just mumbled a soft thanks and let my eyes fall to my lap.

We sat there in silence for awhile, America looking around the room and taking in everything. It was definitely a nice rehabilitation center, but it didn’t mean anything to me if it wasn’t going to help me get better.

“How’s the food here?”

“It’s alright.” I shrugged.

“Well,” America finally moved back to the seat she was originally in and sat down. “Once you get out of here we can go somewhere with much better food.”

I know she had been trying to cheer me up, but the suggestion just brought about thoughts of her having to push me through a restaurant and then spoon feed me throughout the night. Before that almost sounded cute, but right now it was just making me feel sick. I shook my head at the suggestion, feeling her eyes on me when I did so. I didn’t say anything and I know that was concerning her, but it seemed better left unsaid.

“...Kate?” She tried after how quiet I had stayed. I merely hummed to acknowledge her voice and heard her take in a deep breath. “You know I still love you, right?”

My eyes moved to look at her, feeling sideswiped by the comment.

“Regardless of what happens, I’m not gonna leave, okay? I’ll still love you even if you don’t get better.”

“I…” My mouth hung open as my brain tried to find a response for her. “You can’t say that when you don’t even know what you’re getting yourself into.” Since everything had happened, I’d been feeling at a loss for words, but the lock on the feelings I had were starting to pour through. “I can’t do anything on my own anymore. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t cook, I can’t wash up, I can’t even go to the bathroom on my own anymore.”

“So? You think I would just ditch you over something like that?”

“ Something like that?” I repeated. “America, this isn’t a sprained ankle, I’m  _ _not__ getting any better, I can already tell. Nothing has been working.” My throat started to feel like it was closing on me, and my eyes were already getting ready to brim with tears. Turning my head away from her, I closed my eyes shut tightly. I wanted to bury myself in the blankets but I couldn’t even manage to do that. “You can travel through dimensions, why don’t you find one where I didn’t crack my neck and be happy with the me there?”

America stood up with a jolt, her chair scrapping against the floor. Her hands were clenched tight and she had a look in her eye like she wanted to punch me. For a moment, I thought she was going to, but she didn’t. She took in a deep breath and spoke with a very steady voice. “You do  _ _not__  get to make a choice like that for me.” She started with, my heart twisting. “Just because there’s an easy route doesn’t mean that you should take it and like hell would I do something like that. That Kate you’re talking about isn’t the Kate I fell in love with. It’s not  _ _my__  Kate, and I refuse to abandon my Kate just because she decided she wanted me to.” Her eyes stared down at me, and I quickly found myself crying harder than I had cried since this happened.

I felt the bed dip in as America pulled herself next to me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me in a tight embrace. I let my head drop against her chest, the warmth I felt from her starting to truly comfort me. “What am I supposed to do?” I choked out, voicing the biggest fear I had. “What’s left for me out there to do?”

America just held me for a moment, pressing soft kisses to the top of my head to comfort me. “I don’t know.” She mumbled. “But you’ll figure it out. You always do.” Her hand moved up and down my back and while I couldn’t really feel it, it was still comforting for me. “You’re stronger than this, Kate. This isn’t the end for you, okay? I won’t let it be.”

I cried into her chest for a moment, trying to let her words break through the curse that was placed on me. I wanted to believe so badly that there was something left for me to do, but what could a quadriplegic do? What could I contribute to anything?

I tried to bring myself back down to a calm, but it wasn’t working. It was too hard to do so instead, I just let myself cry. I let America hold me and continue to rub her hand along my back. I tried not to let every fear I had loose all at once, reminding myself to just breathe.

I lost track of how long I was crying for, or how long America just sat there holding me. At some point, she had finally broken the embrace and mentioned that I needed to eat. She went to get herself and I food and before I knew it, the day had already gone by.

After that, they just continued to go by. I would wake up, put all of my willpower into trying to get any limb of mine to work, spend time with whoever decided to visit me, eat, and then go to bed. One day turned into two. Two days turned into a week. A week slowly made it’s way to a month, and all through out the only thing that changed were the faces that showed themselves in my room. As the days moved along, I started to feel less hopeless and more lost. I was trying as much as I could for the sake of myself and everyone around me. America was supporting me the best she could. Clint was pushing me in his own way, and so many people were stopping in just to give me all the best words of encouragement. It helped. I was starting to feel like if I tried hard enough I could do it. If I was given enough time, then I had to do it.

Unfortunately for me, no matter what I felt it didn’t matter. Day in and out of being poked at and prodded and struggling as hard as I could to push any muscle into moving and nothing changed. Nothing changed and because of that, I found myself being taught things instead of being pushed to learn movement.

I ended up with an SNP wheelchair and had to sit through calibrating it. The technician that helped me made a joke about how I went too hard on the calibration for the hard puffs. “You do it like that and you’ll be passing out before you get to the door.” Was what he told me. I hadn’t even thought about my breathing if I was being honest.

Breathing exercises were another thing that I had to go through, and it was exactly because of what that technician had said. I had to learn to breathe correctly so I wouldn’t overdue it. They weren’t that hard to follow through with, but everyone made sure to tell me that I had to do them each and every day. (America made sure I  _ _did__  them each and every day too.)

On top of that, I was learning to use what was so cleverly named as a mouth stick to take care of some things. It allowed me to be able to use my phone again, as well as simple things like pushing an elevator button. In the beginning, I couldn’t do much work without my jaw beginning to hurt but as I pushed myself each day, I started to be able to go longer with out it getting sore.

America still did my hair each day she saw me, Clint made all the irritating jokes I could stand from him, and Billy would still manage to blow up my phone with updates from New York if he wasn’t down here visiting with the rest of the crew.

As I started to get better and better with each new device, I realized things were really coming to a close on me. Soon I’d be completely discharged, and sent back home. I knew I would have all my friends by my side, but it didn’t make me feel better thinking that. America had told me I would figure out my calling but with so much time that passed, I hadn’t thought of anything. My options were so limited as it was. It would’ve been great if I had a list of things to chose from, but I didn’t. I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself when I did end up back home and America went back to fighting alongside everyone else.

I was going to be left behind by them, wasn’t I? They wouldn’t abandon me, but it wasn’t like I really could continue to be Hawkeye after this either. I would just be stuck at home watching with the urge to help eating me alive.

 

I went back home with America after I’d been given a full discharge. Being able to leave the ground near the physical rehabilitation center brought a wave of relief over me. It was nice having just a touch more freedom than what I had.

America even drove home with me as opposed to flying back, a small thing that I knew had to of driven her crazy. I thanked her for it either way. It made the drive not feel nearly as long as it was, having her next to me.

When we got back home David, Billy and Teddy had been waiting for us, throwing a calm welcome party for me. I couldn’t decide if they were bad at throwing parties or if they didn’t want to make too big of a commotion out of it. Either way, I was glad to be back in my house and seeing familiar faces again. The party went by quickly, and the boys left long after dark. America stayed of course, stretching out her arms and legs and then coming to me to make sure I was taken care of.

She never struggled with helping me and she never made it seem like a chore or task. I hated every second of it. I hated being heaved upward by her arms for her to change my clothes, or how embarrassed I felt when she had to change my drainage bag. It killed me even more so when there were times where America wasn’t available and a care taker had to come and do the same things. I don’t know if I was more embarrassed by having it done by America or a total stranger. It made me wonder how America could feel any attraction to me at all after something like that.

America had left earlier in the day. She didn’t say where she was going, but her voice sounded more aggravated than usual, so I had to assume there was some trouble some where. I imagined she hadn’t said anything about it for my sake, and I tried to pretend like it didn’t bother me.

I tried being the keyword there. It was too easy for it to bother me, and I spent the entire day letting it bother me. I hated not being able to do anything and even as I tore my brain apart to come up with some way I could help, there was nothing that came to mind. I moved myself towards the tv, using my mouth stick to hit the power button on the remote and struggling just a bit to get it to the station I had wanted.

I figured if something big was happening, it’d be airing on the news. If it was  _ _really__  big, I probably wouldn’t be finding out through the news though. I pulled my head upright, watching as the news anchor went on and on about some food event that was taking place in the city. There wasn’t any interruptions, and the news hadn’t switched over to other coverage. I kept my eyes glued to the screen, wondering if I was gonna find some news hidden in the screen that I actually cared about.

I was so focused on the screen that my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when a loud knock sounded on the door. “Oh--!” I jumped as the door was what sounded like trampled open.

“In coming!” I heard Clint shout from the doorway followed by a sound I recognized immediately. Metal clapped together like a pair of keys and when turned my chair to face the door, a large dog was barreling towards me.

“Lucky!” I cooed, the dog’s tail wagging violently as he came to greet me. “Hey there boy!” I wanted to pet him so badly, but the most I could do was to lean my face forward and let him sniff and lick me. I giggled, pulling away when he got too slobbery.

Clint brought himself into the house, shaking his head at the energy the dog carried. “He never greets me like this.” He joked.

“What made you decide to bring Lucky by?” I questioned, smiling fondly at the dog.

“Well, you know.” He rolled a shoulder, throwing himself onto the couch. “Figured you’d appreciate it. I bet you haven’t seen him in a while.”

“You would know, wouldn’t you?”

He snapped and pointed a finger at me, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and decided that Lucky deserved my attention more than he did. I whistled towards him to get his attention again, and chuckled as he bounced around.

Clint cleared his throat. “You think you’d like having Lucky around with you?”

“Of course I would.” I replied. “He’s a great dog.”

“You want him?”

“What?” I blinked. Clint had effectively earned my attention.

“Look, I think it’d be good for you. The both of you actually.” Clint started to explain. “You already know Lucky and he could help you out with things to help you be more independent.”

“You’d be willing to do that?”

“Well, I’m hoping by letting him help take care of you that doesn’t mean you’re going to cut off all contact with me.” He joked.

I smiled, shaking my head. “I wouldn’t do that and you know it.”

“Good. Because someone’s gotta train him, and I’m calling dibs on that right now.” Clint stated.

Lucky’s tail continued to wag, but it’s pace slowed down. He had a bright gleam in his eye and it made my stomach twist with a good kind of pain.

“America mentioned that you’d been feeling pretty low lately.” My eyes moved away from the dog, back to Clint. He was rubbing the back of his neck like he was loosening a muscle. “It’s what gave me the idea about Lucky. He’s pretty well trained as it is, just gotta teach him some specifics, you know?”

“Thank you.” I mumbled. “This.. This will really help.”

Clint took the thanks without saying anything in response, his eyes moved from me to Lucky and then back to me again. He looked like he had something else to say.

“What is it?” I questioned, hoping to squeeze it out of him.

He hesitated, but after taking in a breath he spoke. “You haven’t been keeping up with physical therapy at all, have you?”

Just like that, I felt my mood drop like a ton of bricks. I dipped my head down, staring at Lucky as he looked up at me with his single eye. “There didn’t seem like there was a point to anymore.”

“Well not right now, of course there isn’t.” He scoffed. “But you don’t think that means it’s going to always be pointless?” Clint pulled himself upright in his seat, leaning towards me. “Kate, you’re an incredible fighter. You’re an even better archer, and if you don’t keep up with physical therapy there will be no chance in hell you’ll ever get to be as good as you were with them before. If some new technology comes out that can heal you, or you just happen to get your mobility back, you can’t lose that.”

I stared at him, unsure of how to respond. If I was being honest, I had given up on the thought of ever getting better. I never thought about the off-chance that technology could get better and fix me. Or something else could, this world was full of surprises as it was.

“Yeah…” I sighed. “I should.”

I must not have been convincing at all. Clint kept his eyes on me and let out a deep breath. “I’ll help you with it when I get done with Lucky’s training okay? America can help you too.”

“RIght.” Lucky moved towards me then, bringing his head to rest on my lap and staring up at me with eyes that begged for attention. I tried to offer what I could, leaning forward so that our noses could almost touch, but he was still too far away. “Awh, I know buddy.”

Clint stayed over for a while with America gone for the day. He ordered some pizza and the three of us watched what ever played on the tv. It consisted of a lot of older movies, but I wasn’t going to complain. I always enjoyed how movies try to depict the future and comparing it to the future we’re in now. It gave me some hope that my condition might improve.

Clint helped me eat of course, and while pizza was definitely a much more awkward food to be fed, I had to say I missed it. He chucked a piece of crust towards Lucky who happily scarfed it down and then decided on leaving the left overs here. “You’ll be fine until America gets back, right?”

“Well it depends on how long she’s gone for.” I remarked. Clint nodded, seeing that I had a point. “Do you know where she went?” I questioned.

“Nah,” He huffed. “I didn’t see her at all today, just got a message asking to pop in and check up on you.” He looked around for things he needed--keys, wallet, things like that as he got ready to leave. “She said she’d be back tonight though.”

“Then I should be just fine.” As long as she actually was back tonight. I could probably manage into tomorrow without someone, but it wouldn’t be good.

“You want me to leave lucky with you?” Clint suggested, but I shook my head.

“No, you’ve got all kinds of training to do with him, don’t you?” I teased.

Clint nodded and then whistled for Lucky who came to him without complaint. “We’ll see you soon, don’t worry.” And after that, he left. I heard Lucky bark from the other side of the door, but once it went quiet, I was left in silence. It was like the life of the house went out the door with them and I was stuck in its dead carcass.

I took in a breath and shook the thoughts from my head. I couldn’t keep letting these things get to me. Moving away from the door and back towards the tv, I changed it back to the news cast I had been watching previously. If there was anything going on, I wanted to know about it.

I continued to do what I had been doing before Clint arrived. I watched the news closely, looking for any signs of something that America could’ve been dealing with but there was nothing. I wanted find something, I wanted to be able to help but what was I going to possibly find out by sitting in front of a tv? I needed something more to do, but every time I came to this problem, there wasn’t a single solution I could think of. All that ran through my head was that I couldn’t do anything. Not in the state I was in. If I ever wanted to contribute to being a hero again, I would have to get my mobility back.

The evening moved into night while I stayed in the same spot. The news had stopped briefly for some sitcom I hadn’t heard of and paid no attention to. I found myself thinking that my brain was the only good part of me left. I still had my thoughts, but they offered me little comfort.

The door popped open rather roughly, startling me once again. My eyes moved towards it and sure enough America was walking in. “America?” I gasped seeing how ripped and scratched up she was, but my heart settled with the smile she had on her face.

“Evening Princess.” She shrugged her jacket off, tossing it over the couch and then walking towards me. “Don’t look so worried I was just letting off some steam.” To emphasize her point, she patted the muscle on her arm.

“You’re all scratched up.” I commented to which she shrugged it off. The only reason I believed her was because of the lack of stress showing on her face. She looked pleased.

“You shoulda seen the other guys.” America leaned down towards me and gave me a gentle kiss, something she always did when she came home nowadays. “How’re you doing? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine, I’m more concerned about  _ _you__.” America shrugged me off and then turned and headed for the bathroom.

“If you’re all good, I’m gonna wash up real quick then.” She left the door open after flicking on the light and a second later the sink was running. I shook my head, wondering what on earth she had gotten herself into but she seemed to have taken care of it either way. “I was thinking,” Her voice called, echoing from the bathroom. The sink was turned off and she came walking out with a towel in her hands, patting her face. She pulled the cloth away and then walked towards my back. Her freshly cleaned hands felt good against my neck, her fingers pressing into the muscle in them and rolling out all their tension. “You’ve been cooped up in this house since we’ve gotten back, let me take you somewhere.”

“What?” I blinked. “Like where?”

“Out for food. Or to the park, where ever you’ll feel most comfortable.”

I hummed, thinking for a moment. Going into a restaurant sounded terrifying to me. At least being at a park would provide me with enough room to deal with mistakes in my movements. I must’ve been thinking too hard on it, because America pressed her lips to my cheek, grabbing me from my thoughts.

“If you don’t feel comfortable moving on your own, I can push you too.” I stared up at her with a clear anxiety about it, her smile trying to convince me that I had nothing to worry about. I wanted to believe it, but it was still a scary concept--moving outside on my own for the first time since I’d been admitted. “C’mon, it’ll be good for you.” Her words finally convinced me and I caved with a smile.

“Okay, but you can’t take me anywhere that’s gonna cause any problems.”

“Hun, you’re with me. There’s problems where ever I go.” America joked, straightening up and heading towards our bedroom. “I’m picking out your outfit if you don’t mind.”

“Oh no,” I chuckled, taking a deep breath to direct myself towards our room after her. “I don’t trust you with that.”

Turned out I had no reason not to trust her apparel choice. What she decided for my outfit was both comfortable and nice so I had no complaints. Moving outside was definitely different from moving in the house. The longer distance meant having to pay closer attention to my breathing. There was added attention from the strangers around me as well which started to very quickly make me feel small. America didn’t let any of it phase her and I think her being so indifferent about the stares started to make me feel the same. She kept to my pace, and would find reasons to stop so I could catch my breath. I couldn’t begin to tell her how much I appreciated that.

The night was nice, the weather perfect for the clothes America put me in. She braided my hair back and had pulled hers up into a pony tail--which looked great on her. For a moment, it didn’t so much feel like I was taking a step forward in coming to terms with this disability, but like I was actually on a date with my girlfriend and we were just walking around the city together.

America had let me pick out the place to eat and I had gone with one that was relatively close but not too close. I needed to start pushing myself a little more and I think this was starting to be the perfect example of why.

When we came into the restaurant, the staff had been slightly shaken by my handicap, but they quickly shook it off and began to treat me just like any other customer. We were lead to a table where the waitress pulled the chair out of the way for me to sit and placed the menus down in front of us. It wasn’t anywhere fancy, it was a cheaper restaurant that served greasy and delicious food. I already had pizza today, I might as well go all out right?

Everything was going fine. People were talking with each other with out paying me any mind, America and I were talking so much that we had to ask the waitress to come back a second time because we hadn’t decided on what to order. There wasn’t anything wrong with the moment even if I didn’t have the ability to feed myself. America ate her food and helped me eat mine and suddenly the shame that was tied around my neck like a noose didn’t seem to exist anymore. This was what I had to live with now, but I could do it.

“You seem pretty happy tonight.” America commented, after eating some fries.

“I am.” I stated. “I’m feeling motivated for the first time in a while.”

“You have no idea how good it is to hear that, Princess.” She smiled, resting her hand under her chin.

“You have no idea how good it is to feel it.” I retorted. She laughed at me and we fell into a silence for just a brief moment. My mind was starting to open up for the first time in a while. I felt like I could actually breathe for once. I had options, I knew that I just needed to figure it out. “I still want to help with the team.” I stated. “I don’t know how.. Maybe if I can figure out some way to help from behind the scenes…”

“You’d be great at that, I bet.” America pushed her plate forward and crossed her arms over the table. “When we get home we can look into things that you can do.” She brought her eyes to mine. “To tell you the truth, it wouldn’t feel right without you out there on the field. I like knowing you’ve got my back.”

“I’ll find some way to still have it, don’t worry.”

“I know you will.” After finally giving up on the bit of food that was left, America took care of the bill and the two of us headed back outside. We took our time getting home, mostly because it was a lot harder to control the SNP when I had a full stomach. The bumpy terrain wasn’t the best thing ever either, but I made do.

America helped me immediately when we got inside, taking me to the bathroom to get ready for bed and then carrying me with her into our room and laying me beside her. Today was a good day for me, and I think America knew that too. Today showed me that I never had anything to be afraid of. I could do whatever I limited myself to and while today had been one of the most peaceful days I had in a long time, it left me with a burning desire to better myself and that was exactly what I had decided to spend the next week figuring out.

It didn’t come to me right away like I hoped it would. Instead, I had gotten the idea when I was browsing through the heroes for hire site, hoping to find someone that had some kind of situation like me. I wanted to find someone to ask for advice on what to do, but after not finding a single person through it, a new thought occurred to me.

I could help the same way that this website helped people. I could start my own program to help guide the team and keeping track of them from where ever I felt like being at the time. I  _ _could__  still help and I refused let that thought escape me.

I started on it immediately, forcing my way back into the team and getting caught up on everything they had kept me out of the loop from due to my injury. Days started to move quickly for me and before I knew it, the thought of “what can I do?” no longer weighed me down, but kept me going. Even after pretty much self-electing myself as the team-coordinator, I didn’t stop there. I looked for other things that I could be doing because if I wasn’t doing something, then I was running the risk of being grasped by that void I had forced myself out of.

America was the one that brought up the next idea for myself. She talked about how well I had been doing and mentioned how she hopes anyone else in my situation could get the chance to see me. I decided then, why couldn’t they? And within only a few month’s time America, Lucky and I were packing our things and making our way back down to Georgia where I met with the same nurses and doctors that took care of me and started helping out with their work load. I didn’t want someone to be stuck in the same rough patch I had been. I didn’t want someone to think that there wasn’t anything they could anymore because of what they used to be able to do.

America took care of me and so did Lucky. Clint visited when he could but I didn’t see him nearly as much as I saw David, Teddy, and Billy. Pity left the eyes of everyone that looked at me, and instead I found myself passing the burning inspiration for self-improvement on to the ones I saw on a day to day basis. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be worth any less than I decided, and back on that date with America, I decided I was worth just as much as Kate Bishop the Archer was.

Helping out at the rehabilitation center wasn’t enough for me. After all the work I put into it, I knew I could do more than what I was limited to there. I didn’t know how, but that hadn’t stopped me before so I wouldn’t let it stop me now. I wanted the chance to help the handicapped kids like me, and I knew that what they were going through would be so much easier if they had something to look at to realize what they were capable of. I wanted every handicapped person to understand their capabilities and the solution I found to that was College.

Part of why I wanted to go to school was to have a bigger understanding of the disabilities out there, and the other part was because I wanted to be able to see these people one on one. I wanted to help them out individually and slowly bring them together. I wanted them to look at me and think to themselves “Well if she can do it, I can too!” I wanted to start school again and become a counselor.

America supported me without a hint of hesitation when I brought this up to her. She encouraged me the second I started to doubt myself and she stood right beside me even when I didn’t feel I needed her there. She took me to the best school within the area and I was enrolled and on my way to becoming what I hoped to be a ray of hope for others like me.

As I was finding myself drowning in a pile of homework, America was resting beside me with lucky sleeping at her feet. She was watching me, and I could feel it, but I tried to keep my focus on the work I had in front of me. I was straining myself to understand the work, and I think she knew that.

I heard the bed creak as she sat up, swinging her legs over the bed and leaning closer to me. I turned to her, wondering what it was that was making her smile so much. “What is it?” I questioned, a giggle tracing my voice.

America didn’t answer right away, her hand moving to brush some strands of hair out of my face. “I’m so proud of you, Kate.” She started, making my heart squeeze with happiness. “You’ve got so much done in these past couple of months and I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.”

“As long as I’ve got you right here with me, I’ll find something to surprise you with,  _ _Princess.__ ” I smirked, watching as her features softened. She let out an airy chuckle and then leaned in close enough to kiss me. Our lips locked and my heart jumped, knowing deep down within me just how much I loved her. I  _ _really__  loved her, and that alone was starting to twist my brain into coming up with quite a few things that could surprise her.

 


End file.
